It is the year 3000, and the Earth is in it’s dying throes. For reasons I don’t know but will-come-up-with-shortly. The Earths’ core is about to asplode. So all the world leaders convened to solve this crisis and came up with the ONLY damn way we should deal with problems of this magnitude in a logical and rational manner.
Send a SPACE MARINE into the galaxy and hope for the best.
That he will somehow find a way to save humanity of course, and not have sexy time with hot alien species.
WorldLeader1: I think its time.
WorldLeader2: Inform him nao that, launch is a go. *Tells PA to call the generic space marine*
PersonalAssistant: Hello, yes..what?..okay..shit were doomed.
WorldLeader3: Well? What’s wrong?
PA: Sir, Cpt. John Sherman is dead, he crashed his scooter, was thrown into a little mud puddle and drowned.
WL2: Fuuuuuuusagfdhgfsahgdasfd
WL1: Damn *forehead crinkles* *places hand on forehead* (for added drama)
This is now serious business, the last best hope of earth is dead. But thankfully there’s always a plan B in any plot and this one is no different.
WL1: You there, you ditzy looking girl.
Alice: Me?
WL2: Yes you, how would you like to volunteer for a dangerous mission into the deep dark void of space, from which you might nevar return and that will probably end with you dying in a most gruesome manner.
A: Will I still get my facebook newsfeeds out there?
WL1: Of course.
Apparently in the year 3000 Failbook has spread even into vast reaches of space, like goddamn interstellar cancer. And the whole population of earth has been reduced to the intelligence level of those at 4chan.
A: Yay! Okays, I’m in.
WL1: Good, here’s your space suit and..
A: Wait I don’t know..
WL1: ..A DVD-Blueray with a short tutorial on how to fly your highly advanced ship..
A: But..
WL2: Good luck, make us proud.
Who needs highly skilled individuals to save the world, right? So into the ship Alice was tossed. Meanwhile RIGHT BELOW the spaceships BOOSTER, all the World Leaders were giving some drama inducing speech about life+courage+hope and nyanynyanyan. All the world was watching this momentous occasion.
CommandCenter: So Alice you have 40min before liftoff, if th…
Alice: Ugh, finally. Blast OFF!!! *presses booster ignition*
CC: OMG WTF!! What the hell are you doing?!!! The World Leaders were still down there!
Sadly all inbound communication to Alice was cut the moment the launch began. So she remained oblivious to the fact that she has effectively destroyed all major leadership of the free world. Thanks Alice! now not only will the world asplode, it will descend into anarchy and chaos as well. FUN!
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| ..So next election vo..EAAAARGHHHHH! |
